I think its safe to say that Addie has left much of babyhood behind.
She still wears nappies, and probably will for at least another year. She still cries in the middle of the night and sucks a dummy for comfort when she's tired and sad.
Apart from that, theres not much of the baby left there. Bittersweet for me! I've noticed some major changes in her over the last weeks, like the new sounds she makes and walking. She says "ta" and understands that it means "I want this, I want you to have this and thanks" even though she doesn't understand thankfulness yet. She comes up and gives little cuddles, and gives me presents of bits of rubbish she has found. She even managed to pick up all the pieces of a banana skin that she'd decimated, when I said "ta" for the bit in her hand.
She yells "hey Dad" when he's not in the room but she thinks that he should be. She knows the places that he'll likely be, and that when he has his dominos uniform on, puts on his hat and picks up his key that it is time to wave goodbye. She's figured out that different things open in different ways. You have to twist the lid off a tube, and a container with hinges gets pulled up. She's obviously taking notice of how I do things. She can't remove the lids yet but she has the right actions... it's only a matter of time.
She is having a love affair with books. Daily she empties her bookshelf, and reads herself a variety of books during the day. She's also added "reading" out loud as so goes through her books. She takes them to her cot and reads one before she goes to sleep, and then again when she wakes up. Her favourites at the moment are one about a TeddyBear going to bed, and a book of animals. She loves playing with her dolls though she's yet to learn that stabbing dolls with a fork is inappropriate.
When it comes to discipline, our Addie is certainly challenging. AT about 9 or 10 months we thought that she was old enough to learn what "no" meant. So to help her we would give her a small smack on the hand or if that wasn't doing anything, on the thigh. We decided to pick one thing for her to learn - which was "don't touch mummy and daddy's computer". Well she learned "no" and the lesson that we wanted her too, BUT she also learned that it was a really good game to play. She would crawl up to the couch look at the computer, shake her head and then touch it. If we didn't react she'd get our attention and do it again. Further smacks on the hand lead to her retaliating by smacking us on the hand or leg.
What to do? A friend suggested that we hold her hand and tell her "no smack mummy" but that quickly became an issue of her then grabbing and squeezing my hand. So it seems that physical punishment is not going to be effective discipline for this little one. I also firmly believe that yelling is completely out of the question and only demonstrates lack of self-control in my part.
At the same time I've been trying to praise the good that she does, make a big deal out of obedience and take possible temptations out of her way. I think that has been the good side to our approach. I've also found out that while time-out [in a tiny playpen] doesn't upset her for the whole minute she's in there, it is enough to break the cycle of whatever behaviour she was engaged in at the time. Of course she goes back and does it again later - but she's only 1! I am thinking that distraction is a key, as well as continuing to tell her what is good behaviour and praising her for things that we want to encourage.
I feel a bit worried sometimes, especially looking at friend's kids that some of my friends and maybe family will think that I'm not very good at this discipline game. Their kids have learned not to touch certain things and now don't even bother going near them. I wonder if they think that I'm just slack and thats why I have a disobedient 1 year old where theirs is compliant. That bothers me, and it bothers me too what her grandparents may think of how we're raising her.
Then I look at friends who are showing themselves to be excellent parents [they have older children so it's easier to tell] and I see that kids like Addie who are strong-willed, stubborn and determined need a different approach. Staging battles with them is more likely to entrench an unwanted behaviour. Sure there will be some battles that are worth fighting with her but being a parent isn't about winning but being a good strategist with an end goal - isn't it? That end goal for me is to produce an adult that is a respectful conscientious citizen of this world and of the Kingdom of God. I don't need a perfect 1 year old for that do I? I say this to reassure myself.
Anyway, thats where we're at with her. She's a beautiful, strong and funny child. Addie is loving, a little too clever and will keep me on my toes for a very long time to come.
[She's been standing at the TV a while now, imploring me with her eyes to turn it on. After a while of me telling her that Playschool doesn't start til 9am [she can't understand but I tell her anyway] she looked for and found the remote, brought it to me with a "ta". I wanted to turn it on just because she's so clever, but refrained. I'm still the boss!]
